Thursday, February 12, 2009

Bargaining.

Today I found myself trying to bargain with God about my condition.  I understand that God might or might not have a reason to allow me to go through this trial in my life, but I find that I wish I didn't have to go through with it.  So I am bargaining with God that since I have cancer if he heals me before chemo, then there is no doubt that it was a complete work of God.  I know that God is going to bring me through it, but the sooner the better.
As some of you might already know my son Nate is in Karate.  Tonight I got to watch him spar for the first time, the lower belts sparred wit higher belts.  He was going against one kid that kept backing him up, later I told him that in life you must stand your ground.  The same holds true in the fight with cancer, I can either let it back me in a corner or I can stand my ground and fight.  I choose to fight.

2 comments:

  1. Trinity,

    Two things come to mind when I think about Rick's struggle with cancer. First, he reconciled with his family. Secondly, he found Christ. And, I'm not sure what it is yet, but something good will come out of your struggle too. God loves you. You must surrender the cancer to Him and trust God with the outcome. Once you do that, sit back and watch the miracles start happening. Trust me on this Trin, God always makes a way where there seems to be no way!!
    I love you!
    Ann

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  2. Yes! You must fight. You're going to WIN, WIN, WIN. There is no question about it!

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