Looking Forward.

It has been almost a week since I received the news about my condition.  I know that the first several days seemed almost surreal as if I was living in a nightmare from which I could not awaken from.  The reality of everything is starting to set in and with that some sense of anxiety, not fear or worry, but understanding of what my life will be like in the next few months.  In order to get past those anxieties I have found it quite helpful to look past cancer, to plan my life after the battle.  I look forward to how I will live my life after this leg of the journey is complete.  One of the things that I look forward to is a cross country trip to California on the old "Route 66" camping every night along the way or even staying at one of the old motor inns.  I look forward to gazing across the Grand Canyon with Misty beside me.  I look forward to maybe getting crazy and jumping out of a perfectly good airplane just for the thrill of living.  Riding a bull might be something worth trying (I feel sorry for that bull if I do).  I look forward to seeing my children be the best that they can be.  I plan to be here to walk my daughter down the isle and to see my son's face when he becomes a father for the first time.  I imagine a life where the things that have tasked me in the past just won't matter, a life that is lived to the fullest where every minute is full of joy and appreciation.  It is funny how we sometimes need the motivation of something as serious as cancer to teach us how to live.