Life

I just want to take the time to point out how amazing life truly is. I know that cancer at times can cast a shadow on life and it's joys, but I also have noticed that for me in particular it has caused me to stop and smell the roses. Tonight on my walk I chose to go through a neighborhood that I have passed but never strolled through. As I was walking on the side walk I noticed a beautiful aroma in the air, I looked up to see a tree with huge clusters of small flowers that smelled so wonderful and sweet. I walked slowly under that tree being careful to enjoy every bit of the scent that it was putting into the air. Amazing how so many times we just pass things like that tree in our hasty and busy lives, without enjoying the fragrance that is lurking in the air. We walk (or run) past the best things in life because we think that what we have planned is the best, but sometimes the things that aren't planned bring us the most joy.

Father's day

Wow, I didn't realize that it has been over a month since my last post. To be honest in the world of cancer, not much has changed, I wish I could be telling you that there is a cure that was found or something cool like that. Some of the unsung heroes in the fight against cancer are the children that have parents that are fighting the disease. Nothing points that out more than one of the cards that I got today, my kids wish for this battle to be over with just as much as I do. I can't imagine the fear and uncertainty that is in their little minds as I walk this long dark road, I do know that they have seen me at my weakest points. I am sad to say that when everyone sees me I sometimes put on a mask of confidence and hope, but my kids see me when I can barely move and when my spirits are down, that is certain to bring confusion to them. They still see me as Superman, but they also are aware of my Kryptonite. I continue to fight this for them, but with them being next to me in the trenches I cannot help but wonder what effect either good or bad this might have on them.

Stinkin' Sidewalk

I don't normally complain on here about anything, to be honest I am usually pretty positive.  However, tonight had to be one of the suckiest nights for me in quite awhile.  I went for my usual evening run with the dog (my doctor told me not too), and I tripped on an uneven piece of sidewalk and skinned my knee, now normally that would be no problem but right now I need my body to worry about fighting cancer and not infection or even trying to heal a common scrape.  With my condition, this could prove to be a not good thing at all, but I am trusting that the same God who informed me that I would make it through cancer will allow me to heal up without an infection.  

Cat or Dog

Today I go in for a Pet Scan.  the doctor told me during my last treatment that all cancer should be gone or close to gone.  The Pet Scan today should be able to tell us how well the cancer has responded thus far to the poison that I have been putting in my body.  I am half way finished with the treatments and hope for things to stay that way.

Bartender, give me another round.

Well, yesterday was the day for another round.  Not drinks, but chemo.  It never seems to get easier, each time I go there I hope that they will inform me that I only need a special miracle pill that will make it all go away, but that never happens.  The next few days will be spent trying to recover and making Misty do all of the house work (as if she doesn't already).  I did get to see another person graduate and ring the bell by the door, I can't wait until it is my turn.  I plan to ring that bell loud and hard on my last day.  Anyhow that is how things are going in my life, nothing has changed and I am still fighting just as hard as I have from the beginning.

Wife Is Good!!!

There are a lot of things in life that could cause more pain than cancer has for me.  I think about people that will never get to feel the warmth of having people around them that love them and I begin to cherish what I have.  one of the often unsaid victims of cancer is the spouse of the cancer patient, so much is spent in time and money on those that are diagnosed with cancer that the ones who love them seem to fall to the way side.  Since I started treatments my wife has not only had to under go the pains of her health issues, but she has had to endure the agony of mine as well.  She has had to increase the amount of things that she does around the house because of the added infectious problems that they can cause for me.  She has had to put up with me not being able to help with simple chores on the weekends after I have had treatments.  While most everybody that I come into contact with see me with a huge smile on my face, my wife has had to deal with my unusual grumpiness.  I truly think that the unsung heroes in the fight against cancer are the spouses of those who are diagnosed, they are tough.  

Dose four and a dog.

Wow, what a weekend.  Easter came so fast this year, almost as if it came without any warning.  We had a great service and gave out thousands of eggs to kids that were in attendance.  I had treatment on Thursday and suffered the usual stomach problems (constipation and nausea) as I have in the past.  My white blood cells have remained extremely well so far and I am only having a few side effects from the chemo.  On Friday I had a movie day with the children's church followed by shopping for Easter clothes.  When we got home at around 8PM we received information about a dog that needed a home, so we took an hour drive to go look at her, she is the sweetest dog.  We were a bit hesitant in getting her as we just lost our other dog from an unknown illness just three weeks ago, but we took her in regardless.  I got to spend some one on one time with her last night and within minutes I had her sitting on command, she is very smart. Her name is Julie and she is part Labrador mixed with some sort of shepherd, she is beautiful.  I know that some of you reading this are probably wondering why I would take on the adventure of a puppy while going through chemo.  Honestly, I know that without a dog I tend to not be as apt to go for nightly walks and runs as I should, cancer doesn't really help with weight loss as much as I had hoped so I still have to work at losing those unwanted pounds.  Julie will be a great companion for running and taking long walks, I hope to lose another seventy five pounds with her assistance.  The other bonus of adding a dog to the mix, is that she keeps the kids busy and forces them to pick up their toys.